<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>You were my obsession by Mimisempai</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27315322">You were my obsession</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mimisempai/pseuds/Mimisempai'>Mimisempai</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Law &amp; Order: SVU</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>ADA Sonny Carisi, Fluff and Smut, Getting Together, Halloween, Lucia is a matchmaker, M/M, Post-Episode: s19e13 The Undiscovered Country, Professeur Barba</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:07:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,390</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27315322</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mimisempai/pseuds/Mimisempai</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>For the fifth year in a row, Rafael declines his mother's invitation to a charity gala she is organizing for Halloween. <br/>Knowing that she wants to set him up with a party of his choice, he flees like the plague from this kind of event.<br/>But this year, Lucia won't give up and Rafael can only give in to her stubbornness. <br/>On a whim he invites Sonny, hoping that the one who became his friend after his return, will respond to the invitation.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>47</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You were my obsession</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"Rafael!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mother had just stormed into his living room, throwing on his coffee table what seemed to be his refusal to participate in the charity gala she was organizing for Halloween. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What brings you to my humble home Mama." Rafael asked, looking deceptively innocent while continuing to drink his coffee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Your stubbornness, Rafael, what else?" she sat in the chair in front of him and continued, "This is the fifth year you've refused my invitation and told me you'll come next year."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rafael looked up slowly at his mother and looked at her with an assurance that he was far from feeling and replied, "And you still took the trouble to send me an invitation?" He ended with a smirk on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mother replied with the same smile, "Rafi, you know that no is not an answer for me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well." Rafael put down his cup. "You should have saved yourself the trip. I haven't changed my mind." He stood up to show her that the discussion was over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mother did not follow at all, making it clear that she would stay until he changed his mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So stubborn,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Rafael thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Rafael, I don't understand you, you're smart, you're good at what you do-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you, Mama."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't interrupt me! I said you're a good person, you're good company when you're not on your high horse, you're successful in your new career, and yet you're hiding in your apartment like an old bachelor."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm hiding like you say," Rafael calmly began, "because in case you don't know, while I'm basically doing the same job as you, this job exhausts me, because my social circle is reduced to a minimum and because I'm a big boy and I live my life as I want."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I never would have thought that my son, who once was a well-known lawyer, who was capable of confronting anyone verbally, who shone in society, who knew how to manipulate people so well that he would have sold glasses to a blind man, would have become such a dull</span>
  <span> homebody of a person</span>
  <span>." Rafael knew that his mother didn't want to be hurtful, she only tried to provoke him until he gave in. He had the feeling that this year it wouldn’t be so easy to refuse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He raised his eyebrows and said, "If you find me dull, it's your problem, not mine."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, we don't agree on that. I think you'll agree that you can't stay locked up forever in your little ivory tower. Look at me, I'm older than you, I work just as hard, do you see me wasting away in my living room?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mom, this may be hard for you to believe, but some of us value our private lives more than public appearances."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Give me one good reason at least, one real reason why you wouldn't come to this Gala," asked his mother, completely ignoring what Rafael had just said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rafael sighed, "If you want to know, it's because I am sure you want to set me up with whatever great party you found on Single.com."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"If that's all it is, bring someone along so I'll leave you alone."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Very funny, really," Rafael replied humorously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm serious." His mother looked at him attentively. "There must be someone whose company you can bear to spend an evening with." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rafael thought of someone, and his observant mother said. "I see there is someone."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He will never agree. There's a big gap between being friends and going to a ball with me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I see. It's perfect." His mother stood up, looking satisfied. "I'll be waiting for you and Carisi at the gala. Formal wear required, of course, remind your detective."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mamaaa! He's not my detective and he's not a detective anymore!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, yes, I know. Anyway, I see you didn't deny it was him." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rafael opened his mouth to protest, but his mother kissed him on the cheek and left as quickly as she had entered. She was probably already calling her circle of friends to brag that she had the last word with her stubborn son. In any case Carisi had no reason to accept the invitation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>_____</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sonny was sitting at a table at Forlini’s with Mike, Nick, Kat and Fin when his cell phone started vibrating.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hurried to pick it up after recognizing the name on the screen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Who it is Sonny that you are in such a hurry to pick up?" Mike asked, trying to read over his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh man, probably someone important," replied Fin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sonny smiled at himself. Kat didn't make any comments, just looked at him with a knowing smile, she knew him too well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The message was longer than usual.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>-Carisi, I realize that I'm assuming a lot, with what I will ask you, </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>but I don't have the courage to ask you in person. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don't see anything wrong with that, but I need you. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Would you be willing to go with me to my mother's Halloween Gala? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It seems that this year I won't be able to avoid it and while I'm at it, </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'd rather go with a friend. Let me know your answer and if it's positive, I'll send you the details.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sonny swallowed. He kept the phone in his hand and took a big sip of beer. Then read the message again. His heart was beating like a drum.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're all flushed, Sonny," Fin said to him. That made Nick laugh, while Mike looked confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You look happy."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sonny looked at Kat with a smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah. I think that... maybe..." He handed her the phone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She read it, looking very concentrated, "That's great, Sonny!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her big eyes and her smile made her look almost as happy as Sonny felt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Come on, Sonny, don't keep it a secret," Mike asked him. Nick also seemed a little curious. Sonny realized that they were probably both a little upset that Kat had read it first, but after all, she already knew how he felt about... him. He had let it slip out at one of their evenings here. He got along with Kat right away, although professionally there had been some tension, but he remembered what it was like to be the rookie on the team and try to fit in. Now Kat was definitely one of his best friends. There was also the fact that he wasn't quite sure Nick and Mike would understand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Kat gave him the phone back, he hesitated for a moment, then finally gave it to Nick, who read the message with Mike and Fin looking over his shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh," Nick said, "Are you going to go?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't sound as surprised as Sonny had expected.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fin watched him for a while. "I think he's going to go."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Geez," said Mike. "Do you realize, Sonny, that this might be a date that Barba is asking you out on?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sonny drank the rest of his beer and smiled at his friends. "Oh God, I hope so!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>______</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sonny had been strongly tempted to call to give Rafael the answer, but he felt that Rafael wasn't very comfortable, and to tell the truth, he didn't want to seem too eager either. After all, Rafael may have simply invited him over to help him deal with a difficult situation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sent his reply on his way home from Forlini's, being careful not to be too enthusiastic with his words.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>-</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Barba, we are friends now, you know you can ask me anything. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It is with pleasure that I accept your invitation. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It will be an opportunity to spend an evening together, </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>we haven't seen each other for a month, </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>we'll have a lot to talk about. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Send me the details.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Good night! </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He put his phone on the bedside table without waiting for the answer, turned off the lights and quickly fell asleep.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>_____</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On the evening of the event, they met separately to the front door of the Gala hall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sonny's heart was pounding when he saw Rafael. He hadn't seen him for a month and it felt like it had been an eternity.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had already been hard enough when Rafael had disappeared for two years without giving any news. Sonny had been devastated for several days, weeks even, and had never been able to engage in any kind of relationship, because every time, the thought of Rafael prevented him from doing so. The feeling </span>
  <span>that he had unfinished business </span>
  <span>had been churning deep down inside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Good to see you again Barba", Sonny finally managed to say, not wanting to look like a complete idiot for standing there looking at him - but really, what could Rafael expect, dressed as he was, with an anthracite suit enhanced by one of Sonny's favorite ties, this sky blue with yellow and navy blue stripes. Sonny liked it so much that when he saw it in a shop window, he bought it for himself, even though it took him almost a year before he dared to wear it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Carisi." Rafael nodded. "Good to see you too. I must admit I was surprised that you accepted my invitation so easily."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thanks to Olivia, Rafael's return had led to him being reintegrated into their circle of friends. Even though he was no longer the squad's ADA, he'd made contact with Sonny again and one thing leading to another, they'd become friends.</span>
  <span> At least on the surface. In reality, Sonny wanted a lot more, but he couldn't take the leap, because he really couldn't figure out what Rafael was thinking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I was surprised you invited me but pleased too." He smiled, and received a sincere smile in return. He could have sworn that Rafael looked relieved, but he was content to believe it was wishful thinking. Kat had helped him choose his outfit with the purpose of impressing Barba.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shall we go?" said Rafael, "I think all that ridiculous commotion over there is our destination." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As they walked they were so close that their sleeves were brushing against each other with every step. Sonny held back from holding Rafael's hand. It would be a long night if he couldn't control himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They walked to the glass doors that opened onto the hall. Sonny was surprised, as it was Halloween, he was expecting the usual cheesy decorations, but in fact everything was done with good taste. There were the inevitable pumpkins but everything was arranged in a fairy-tale rather than creepy way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Rafael, there you are. Welcome, Mr. Carisi." Lucia Barba greeted them kindly. "Nice to see you both. Please make yourselves at home." She made a big gesture with her arm, indicating the hall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Good evening Mrs. Barba, call me Sonny. Thank you for the invitation."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucia chuckled, "Call me Lucia then, you deserve it for bringing him here." Sonny raised his eyebrows at that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, didn't he tell you, Sonny? He turned my invitation down five times, everytime with the most ridiculous reasons." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked at him up and down. "It seems he finally found one that made him accept."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Carisi, would you like something to drink?" Rafael interrupted the flow of words, taking Sonny away from his mother without waiting for an answer. He felt his mother's sly smile on his back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sonny didn't need to ask why, he had known Barba long enough to guess. But he couldn't help wondering about Lucia's insinuations.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A hostess appeared and took their coats, assuring them that it was a pleasure to look after them while they were having fun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once they were near the buffet, sipping their aperitif, Sonny hesitantly suggested, "There is no need to keep calling me Carisi, Barba. You know my first name."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rafael looked at him, thinking. "Very well," he said. "I guess you might as well call me Rafael."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'd like to," Sonny said with a smile. He looked at the other guests for the first time, but he didn't recognize anyone, there was a group of women of Lucia's age who looked at him and Rafael more curiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"They are friends from my mother's bridge club. She had to sound the trumpets to tell them that I was coming and that I was coming with someone."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That'll give them something to talk about." Sonny replied with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh that will Sonny, I am sure I'll have a written report and three copies tomorrow."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sonny was amazed at the warmth that came over him just hearing Rafael say his name "Oh, good. In that case, Rafael, you'll have to give them something to fill out this report."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rafael laughed softly and did not answer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sonny stopped with his glass to his lips, and their eyes met for a long time. But the spell was broken when someone clumsily shoved Sonny, who almost dropped his glass. Then Lucia's voice rose above the assembled crowd.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Welcome my friends, to the fifth Halloween Gala. As you all know, this gala has been a fundraiser for various animal shelters in the neighborhood for the past five years. Enjoy the music and dancing once our musicians arrive, and the little surprise that awaits us all at nightfall. And in the meantime, enjoy the banquet and feast your heart out."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I suggest we wait until the first wave has passed," Barba suggested.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sonny gladly agreed, letting himself be drawn to one of the tables which was in a quieter corner than the rest of the hall. They watched everyone guzzle for a while, Rafael making Sonny laugh with his snarky comments about people passing by.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, the crowd was reduced to a small line, and they went to fill their plates. They returned to their table, eating while watching the other guests. Lucia walked between the tables, chatting with a small group here and there. At one point she spotted them and walked towards them, but one of her friends held her back and whispered something to her, so she smiled briefly and just waved to them from a distance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The musicians arrived, and Sonny realized in amazement that it was a full orchestra. Rafael struggled not to laugh at his shock. "My mother always tends to make things big," he said mockingly. "You see where I get my taste for extravagance from."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That made Sonny laugh, "This gala is much more entertaining than the ones I've attended so far." Sonny dared to add, "It must be the company." Rafael looked at him, surprised but satisfied. "I'm happy. But I have to admit that I am surprised that you didn't have other plans for tonight."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Apart from evenings at Forlini’s with my former colleagues, I don't go out much." said Sonny.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"To be honest, I expected you to have someone in your life."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sonny blushed. He wondered what to say to Rafael: "After you left, I spent a lot of time thinking, regretting a lot of things I hadn't said and not done, and wishing I could have another chance to....” He stopped, not knowing how to go on without saying "to be with you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been indiscreet," said Rafael.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, that's okay. I have nothing to hide." Their eyes met. "The truth is that I've become so obsessed with one thing that can never be, that it has erased all other interests."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I hope you haven't been plotting to take McCoy's place," Rafael joked, clearly trying to lighten the mood.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sonny laughed, "It's a temptation I can easily resist, thank you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's a relief." Rafael smiled briefly. "Few people with your abilities could have resisted."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sonny felt a warm glow to the compliment, especially from the man he had come to admire so much. "Were you tempted then?" he asked, and then he clarified. "Not to take McCoy's place, but by something greater?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rafael looked at him with great intensity and then whispered softly, "Yes, but that's in the past and I'm at peace with that. Some things are impossible to forget, and none more so than one's own mistakes."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Tell me about it." Sonny put a hesitant hand on his forearm, and when Rafael crossed his eyes, he said, "You may not be able to forget, but you could forgive yourself."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The profession is incapable of forgiving me, and I can't say I blame them."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sonny wanted to deny it vehemently, and was content to say, "I don't blame you," he said, adding with a smile, "but I think you know that. Otherwise you wouldn't have asked me to be your date." If Rafael was surprised by this statement, he hid it well. The crowd slowly made its way to the dance floor. The orchestra had started to play, and none of them had noticed. Rafael raised an eyebrow. "You've always been more perceptive than most people I know."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I wish I were." Sonny laughed again, both at himself and because the compliment made him happy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That's when they noticed that someone was approaching them with intent. It was Derek Strauss, an ADA that Sonny didn't like very much. Strauss had always been disdainful of Sonny when he was a cop and now that they were working for the same office, he had completely changed his behaviour. And Sonny hated that kind of hypocrisy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uh-oh, careful," he hissed, just loud enough for Rafael to hear it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Counselor Carisi." Strauss had reached them, and he began to smile at Sonny, completely ignoring Rafael's presence. "Would you like to dance?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sonny blinked. "No, thank you." He turned his head again towards Rafael, thinking the other one would turn around and leave, but he didn't.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I couldn't help but notice that you just sit and talk, and it is a dance after all, so I think you really should."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Counselor Carisi obviously doesn't want to dance with you," says Rafael, in a grave tone of caution.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The lawyer turned to him with a sly smile, "What does that have to do with you, Counselor Barba, oh no sorry, you're not anymore, I mean, Mr. Barba?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It has everything to do with him," Sonny said firmly. "I'm here with Rafael." He didn't notice Rafael's surprised look on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The other sniffed. "Really? You want me to believe that Rafael here is actually your date? The one whose place you now occupy?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sonny stood up and approached the man. "I don't care what you believe. But there's one thing you absolutely must believe, and that is that I will not hesitate to use some of my connections if you don't leave right away."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man opened his mouth in protest, but seeing the anger in Sonny's eyes, he decided to turn away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rafael chuckled and Sonny turned around to look at him in amazement. He didn't remember ever seeing Rafael completely amused, and seeing him like that made him immensely happy. He went to sit beside him again, but Rafael shook his head and stood up, holding out his right hand. "Would you like to dance, Sonny?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"With you? Yes." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the distance, Lucia watched them enter the dancefloor with a smile on her face, and after a quick instruction to the orchestra, the latter began to play a slow and romantic waltz.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's just like my mother..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Your mother?" Sonny asked, as Rafael's hand was resting in the hollow of his back, while he took his left hand raised.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"She's standing over there, looking happy." Rafael tilted his head slightly towards their hostess, and Sonny followed his gaze, confirming his words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The music began to swell, and although Sonny wasn't exactly what you would call a born dancer, he realized that it was much easier to be led.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The waltz was soon over, sooner than Sonny wanted it to be, and the next song began, without transition, a sensually slow rhythm. He expected Rafael to want to return to their place but he felt his arms slide around his waist and draw him closer, and he looked into the green eyes and raised his hands to join them behind Rafael's neck. They were dancing so close, all parts of their bodies were touching each other at some point, and their eyes never left each other's sight. The music seemed to have no end.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sonny didn't mind, he was just happy that Rafael held him in his arms and allowed such closeness between them. Meanwhile, the green eyes were bewitchingly intense, falling on his lips from time to time, and Sonny had to look ahead of him to avoid tilting his head and seeking Rafael's lips for a kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sonny felt that every fiber of his being responded to the music, and to the feeling of Rafael so close, so real. Never in a million years would he have dared to hope for this outside of a dream. The music clearly had the same effect on Rafael, because the sensual being moving with and against Sonny was nothing like the prosecutor he had known all those years. But had he ever known him? Perhaps this was the real Rafael Barba. The idea was captivating and exciting. He smiled softly and dared to place his hands on Rafael's lower back and put his head on his shoulder. The dance, as it was, required no concentration or skill, so he closed his eyes and simply swung into Rafael's arms, breathing in the warm and sensual scent of his skin where his neck met the collar of his shirt. Sonny could feel his heart beating regularly against his own chest. He sighed with satisfaction, thinking he wouldn't mind at all that they would stay like this forever. Sonny's only source of discomfort was that it would soon be impossible to hide the fact that he was painfully excited.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As if she had decided to both save and annoy Sonny, Lucia Barba's voice rose through the loudspeakers, effectively stopping the orchestra and shaking him from the cocoon of Rafael's embrace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's midnight my friends," proclaimed Lucia. "It's time."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What for?" Sonny murmured, drowsy with contentment. He looked down at Rafael's face, without taking his hands off his back, and saw a strange and languorous expression. Rafael's eyes seemed deeper than ever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The fireworks, I guess," Rafael replied just as softly, continuing to hold him for a moment before slowly backing away until Sonny's hands slipped down his arms and onto his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Indeed all the people moved towards the large bay windows and the first rain of multicolored rockets drew everyone's eyes to the sky, with oohs and aahs of pleasure. Lucia had outdone herself to impress her guests. The sky filled with a thousand temporary stars and the noise was deafening.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sonny stared with pleasure when he felt a hand take his. He turned to look at Rafael, who didn't bother to try to talk over the cheers, crackles and screams, and simply tilted his head towards a window opening at the back of the hall and pulled Sonny's hand out. Sonny smiled and nodded, letting himself be carried away from the crowd. Rafael did not let go of his hand. They stopped in the window opening, hidden by the curtains, but lit by the glow of the fireworks they could see on the other side of the window. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I've always liked fireworks," Rafael said, "they remind me of a song I like very much, about how our lives are ephemeral.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Tell me," Sonny asked him softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rafael began to hum, his eyes not leaving the sky:</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We are like fireworks</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>For our lives are short-lived</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Let's make sure that while we live,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We shine in the eyes of others</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Let's offer them Light</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Like a shooting star as we go by</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>For however fleeting it all is,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We won't soon forget</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It took Sonny a few moments to find his voice again. Rafael's soft, low voice had put him into a trance. His voice was bewitching. "It's really beautiful," he said in a hoarse tone. He looked at Rafael, whose face was very close. There was enough light to see his eyes, more intense than ever. Sonny's pulse quickened when Rafael didn't look away, and he held his breath when a hand rose to rest on his cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you going to kiss me?" he whispered, almost afraid to break the spell.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, unless you stop me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sonny smiled, but didn't move at all, and green eyes fell on his lips. Rafael's face approached as he tilted his head, and when their lips met, Sonny's eyes closed. For a few moments, they simply enjoyed the increasing heat between their mouths. Then Sonny came closer, his arms wrapped around Rafael's waist. Rafael's arm tightened around him. Separating Sonny's lips with gentle insistence, Rafael deepened the kiss and Sonny groaned in his mouth. The night intensified the heat between them, each sensation being amplified by the contrast. Rafael's mouth was like a fire, and Sonny was burning, even fanning the flames with his tongue. Their fingers were jostling as they tried to get even closer together, digging into each other. When Rafael's mouth left his, Sonny groaned at the loss, but then warm lips were on his cheek, and burning kisses were placed on his face and along his neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He let his head fall back in a gesture of surrender, and Rafael's tongue whipped the burn marks that his lips must have made on the skin of Sonny's neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Rafael," Sonny sighed. He knew that his fingers were digging too deep into Rafael's back, and he slid his hands up, moving against him as they had done on the dance floor, only this time their lips found themselves, again and again, with a hunger that could only be the result of too many lost years.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"When did it start?" Rafael asked breathlessly, and Sonny wasn't sure who he was asking. But he answered anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The day you said to me word for word: 'It hurts me to say it, but you're right, Carisi,' the look you threw at me at that moment, I knew I was lost," Sonny confessed between kisses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rafael took his face and stopped the frantic mouth searching. "Your obsession? Was it me?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sonny nodded, covering Rafael's hands on his cheek. "It was. Is. And always will be. I wanted you to come back, Rafael, to tell you everything I never dared to tell you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I am back." Rafael's lips curled into a soft smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, thank God." Sonny smiled. He ran his hand tenderly through Rafael's hair. The hand was grasped and Rafael held it to his lips, pressing them into the palm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry I left like that." Rafael's words were unexpected.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sonny smiled. "I understand. I don't know how I would have reacted in your place."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rafael took Sonny's hand in both of his hands. "You are always so compassionate and understanding."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sonny blushed. "I had no idea you felt this way about me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You weren't the only one with an obsession," said Rafael, and they shared a smile. Then Rafael pulled him towards him and their lips met again for a long, deep kiss that left them both breathless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you want to come to my house, I don't live very far." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sonny nodded, Rafael took his hand and pulled him behind him, they picked up their coats, the fireworks were not over, the entrance was deserted and they could leave quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It would have taken them less than a quarter of an hour to get to Rafael's house if they hadn't stopped every two minutes, taking advantage of a darker street corner to kiss each other. Now that both of them were giving free rein to their desire, it was impossible for them to control themselves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once arrived at Rafael's house, Rafael didn't give Sonny time to look around, he took his hand and pulled him into his bedroom. Sonny looked at him and then at the bed. When he met Rafael's eyes he smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rafael opened his coat and just let it slide to the floor. Sonny imitated him. When Rafael reached him, he began to undo Sonny's tie, then pushed the jacket back over his shoulders and left him standing with black pants and a white shirt. Sonny imitated him again, but he continued with the shirt, his progression slower because his fingers lingered on every inch of skin revealed until Sonny pushed the shirt back onto his shoulders. Then Sonny's mouth was on his and while they were kissing, Rafael pulled Sonny's shirt off and pulled him into his arms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then Sonny withdrew and, with a provocative smile, undid his pants and pulled him down, along with his underwear. He bent down to take them off with his shoes and socks and took another few steps back towards Rafael's bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rafael's eyes moved over him like a caress of fire, scanning every inch of him. "You are exquisite."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sonny bit his lip and looked up and down at Rafael in a meaningful way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rafael then undid his pants, and when he got closer to Sonny, they were both completely naked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sonny lay down on the bed with his arms open and looked at Rafael beggingly. Rafael moved fluidly in his arms. They kissed eagerly, panting in ecstasy from the first sensation of being skin to skin. Sonny slid his hands along Rafael's back and pushed his hips up while pulling him down. Rafael groaned in his half-open mouth, his right hand moving under Sonny as he supported himself on his left elbow. He kneaded the firm flesh of Sonny's buttocks and then ran his hand under a muscular thigh, pulling it up and out so that they could feel the other's excitement even more intensely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Rafael," Sonny said gasping, arching his neck, and Rafael's mouth followed the line stretched across his Adam's apple, licking and biting every inch of skin in its path. Sonny's fingers were in his hair, his legs clenched around Rafael's hips as they rubbed against each other. He pressed Rafael's head lightly and his lips found his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rafael crashed against him, his hand sliding further down between Sonny's legs. Using the precum he grabbed their two hard cocks and began to move back and forth while continuing the kiss. And suddenly Sonny's hand covered his and they continued, their bodies connected on all sides, separating only to catch their breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rafael tightened his hand a little and speeded up the movement and while putting his forehead on Sonny's and looking into his eyes he whispered, "Come with me, Sonny, together."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sonny moans. His legs stretched out as he shivered against Rafael and shouted his name. He climbed still high when Rafael joined him, moaning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They laid in each other's arms, satisfied, waiting for their breathing to return to normal. Rafael moved just enough so as not to crush Sonny, but no further than Sonny allowed him to move. They stayed close enough to continue kissing each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't ever leave me again," Sonny whispered softly in the silence a little later, believing Rafael was asleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I see no reason why I would want to," Rafael replied softly against his lips as he kissed him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Anyway, if you leave, I'll follow you," Sonny threatened him tenderly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I promise you that I have no intention of leaving Sonny," he sealed his promise with another kiss, brushing a lock of wandering hair and then let himself be carried away into the most peaceful sleep he'd experienced in a long time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next morning, each of their cell phones vibrated with insistence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In a synchronized sigh they took them to read their messages.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"My mother asks if I will also refuse to come to next year's gala, knowing that I now have a partner. And then she tells me to say hello."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Give her greetings from me. As for me, I have three messages, you want to know?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Even if I say no, I know you'll still tell me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Um, Kat asks if the evening was everything I hoped it would be, Nick asks me to tell him the whole details and Mike...ahem..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You make me very curious now Sonny."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mike asks if we broke the mattress..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rafael laughed and Sonny thought it was the most beautiful sound in the world and promised to do everything he could to hear it often.</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you Sarah for the beta-reading !</p><p>I think I like more and more to write Sonny and Rafael getting together. I like having the power to get them together I think. There are so many possibilities, it makes me wonder how the SVU writers didn't see that?</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>